Survive Nuclear Fallout, With Your Balls Out

Ask Urban Scout #4: Apocalyptic Toilet Humor?

Dear Urban Scout,I regularly think about every aspect of what my life will be like after the collapse of our civilization, and this is one of the questions that I have the most trouble with; when I’m done taking a big shit in the woods outside of Eugene, what do you suggest I wipe my ass with?

Continue reading Ask Urban Scout #4: Apocalyptic Toilet Humor?

Operation Get the Fuck Out of Portland!

For those hip to conspiracy theories, you know that “terrorist attacks” happen most often at a “coincidental” moment when the government just so happens to run a training drill for the exact kind of terrorist attack that occurs. Knowing this, I have to say I felt scared and paralyzed with fear when I heard that a terror drill involving the detonation of a nuclear bomb will happen in Portland some time in the month of august.

But then I came up with an idea…

Continue reading Operation Get the Fuck Out of Portland!

Week17: “The First Rule of Archery Club Is…”

The Poster Child of Rewilding

As you can see from the above photograph, this week ReadyMade Magazine has turned me into the poster child for rewilding. Check out the latest issue (Aug/Sept) for a centerfold you can all hang on your walls. Have I made anarcho-primitivism cool yet?

Rhus Juice, the New Lemonade

Terms of Subsistence

I recently joked with Penny Scout about how the term, “scavenger hunt,” sounds like an oxymoron; a scavenger doesn’t hunt… they scavenge. This joke inspired me to write a little about the terms of subsistence strategies.

Continue reading Terms of Subsistence

Ask Urban Scout #3

Week16: Making Plans With Penny

So, as you may have read in my last post, I came home the other day to find Penny Scout sitting in my kitchen shooting the shit with my roommates after driving some 2000 miles for a surprise visit.

Continue reading Week16: Making Plans With Penny

Week15: High Spirits or Hungry Ghosts?

“Green” Vs. Rewilding

Noble Savage Vs. Rewilding

John Zerzan did a talk at (The Dreaded) Reed College a while ago. One of the Reed professors accused John of idealizing indigenous peoples, in the age old tradition of the “noble savage.” I hear this one come up often, and it feels just as boring and reactive and lazy every time.

Continue reading Noble Savage Vs. Rewilding