An Anarcho-Primitivist Romance?
“They lived on opposite sides of the continent, both with a fierce love of family and the land, but destiny (and the internet) brought them together. Now he must venture into unknown territory to find out if she is really his true love as the wise old amazon man predicted, facing an angry she-bear, a terrible snow storm, and airport security. Meanwhile she must make an important decision: to leave behind everything she knows and return West with the man of her dreams or bide her time in a town where no one understands her…”
Does your life ever read like one of those cheesy romance novels? Well, mine does. Of course, the blurb above came from the mind of my long-time female, east coast counterpart Penny Scout, whom tomorrow I will fly some 2500 miles to meet in person for the first time.
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Show your support and appreciation for Urban Scout
I once abandoned everything on the east coast to flee to Portland — literally, I gave the key to my DC-‘burbs apartment to a guy I knew and split. I arrived there with $12 and no possessions except what I could fit in my CRX. It was the best thing I ever did for myself, I highly recommend it.
peter and emily
sitting in a tree
F-O-R-A-G-I-N-G
TOO much expectation. Gonna be awkward as hell, at least at first.
Haha. Nah… maybe…
Finish rix’s poem…
Scout – If you have a kid the party’s over. The conventional wisdom says wait until you are secure in your life before having kids. Unconventional wisdom say wait until AFTER the crash to see if that huge baggage train is desirable.
But in the meantime, a good girlfriend is gold. Enjoy!
Dear Scout!
I am so happy for you 🙂
Go for it, be with your Penny Scout and enjoy 🙂
Just be easy … never know where you will land upon this planet 🙂
Also, make sure you read carefully what you are allowed to take aboard your flight, just take carry-ons, no check-ins, just a total waste of your precious time.
Enjoy, enjoy and more enjoy…
I love romance … this is going to be a beautiful one!!!
Hugs for the both of you 🙂
Christine
Excuse me , Mr. UrbanFairyTaleScout, sir. Did you realize that you were putting yourself in a box? What if she’s not your “one true love” and you’re not the “man of her dreams”? How many ways is it possible to have successful relationships? Even ones that include love and commitment and (yes, of course) sex. More than one? The more ways that you can think of, the more likely you are to find that PennyScout works with one of them.
I tried and tried to think of a way to say that that didn’t sound condescending, and then I decided that giving relationship advice to a stranger is inherently condescending, so there’s really no way to avoid it. That whole “one true love” thing happens to be one of my triggers, I suppose.
You know, it’s just that those of us who have figured out a different way (not to say better, of course) really want you to be a better person, because we care about you. Don’t think of it as criticism, just think of it as brainstorming ways that you could suck less. Because we care about you. 😉
good luuuuuck!
i have been in a long distance relationship for a year with someone across the continent in another country. it’s really difficult, but he’s really worth it.
I’m Rock Scout, Penny Scout’s ex-lover. I don’t understand her because I’m a lawless survivalist and she’s a primitive anarchist. Penny Scout is so chaotic that she says she loves me and wants to live with me just as Urban Scout is packing his bags for a week of sexy backwoods adventure. So the plot thickens. It’s almost too cheesy to swallow. Is Urban Scout being toyed with by a two-face trickster who wishes only to develop her celebrity alter ego, Penny Scout? She says-
“…he’s a city boy, he goes to clubs and gets drunk and has one night stands. He might be too “cool”. That’s not the life for me. The way I see it we work best as creative friends. If I can really get to work on the Penny Scout persona who know’s maybe I can make money off of it.”
A far cry from “the man of my dreams”. Who is she fooling- Urban, Rock, or Mr. Funny Pants? What kind of psychodrama is Urban Scout walking into? Will Urban scout get fucked with, big time, by a crafty hill-billy with an infrared scope, and a heart full of jealous rage? No. This situation is ridiculous. A room full of confused innocents. Two guys in love with a beautiful woman who’s in love with two guys. That the way I see it. And thats why I’ve gotta say Rock Scout OUT.
what a fucking tool. I hope a large dinosaur stomps your head into little pieces….HA!
How do you know Urban Scout isn’t being a two-faced trickster to boost his Urban Scout alter-ego and create drama for his website?
It’s true, I do “go out and get drunk and have one night stands.” I had one last week 😉 And I am, “too cool” for most chicks. Though, most chicks don’t have anarcho-primitivist leanings, which to me is cooler than getting drunk and having one night stands. Though I can’t help but have similar thoughts to hers: “Her myspace says she’s 5’8 and I’m around 5’8. She’s probably too tall for me anyway, if not taller! She likes to hang out in the woods for days at a time by herself and she has a hard time talking with people. She might be too much of a recluse for my taste. Maybe we do work best as ‘creative friends.'”
And further still, maybe it is Urban Scout that has created a the psychodrama between you and Penny Scout? Perhaps you’re the innocent ones and I am the chaotic one? I mean, I do have CHAOS tattooed on my fucking arm now… it may as well stand for something!
So the plot thickens once again!
“How do you know Urban Scout isn’t being a…”
What!? Urby, you leave Cascadia for two days and your e-prime skillz go down the toilet!?
In any case, Rock Scout, a thick cheesy plot goes down great with a couple shots of vodka to cut the grease.
Remember: VODKA – Paleo-approved. No carbs!
So…speaking of boxes…How about that one where people decide that it’s only possible for someone to love one person at a time? Or the one where people decide that if you love a particular set of qualities in one person that you can’t love a whole different set of qualities in a different person? Or the one where people decide that anyone who is in love with two people at once must be a two-faced trickster? Or the one where people decide that in order for it to count as a “relationship” it must pass some arbitrary time limit? (Some of my most valuable, intense, committed, genuine relationships have lasted less than a week, by mutual agreement.)
E-prime? What’s that?
DeAnna, I think you’re the only one here that’s making any sense at all. You are the voice of reason from the audience of this anarchist romantic-fling turned primitivist Jerry Springer episode. Thanks for saying those things.
Yeah DeAnna’s right. And I think the only reasonable solution to this conundrum is polyandry. What do you say Urban Scout and Rock Scout will you both take my hand in marriage?
The love I’m interested in aint a feeling, its a verb. Thus, you only love a person when you are helping them or doing something nice for them.
Of course it’s okay for a women to love X guys at once, but for me there is an issue of openness and respect. When I came across this blog I was surprised.
She has not been open with me and I lost respect. That’s typically how these things go.
I do feel a little Jerry Springer here, I mean who am I talking to?
I’m going out.
Hmmm. Sorry Rock Scout, the blog was more for entertainment purposes than reality. The “L” word doesn’t leave my mouth until I really know someone. The only person I am in love with right now is myself! 😉
Penny, as for Polyandry… I once convinced a group of anti-civilization people that polyandry was part of the anti-civ movement, even though I didn’t actually believe it myself. It was more of an experiment; could I make a ridiculus claim and trick people into believing it? I could! Anyway, I’m all for Polyandry but only if it involves me and more chicks, not dudes (just my personal taste, nothing wrong with it). Though a scout orgy does sound appealing… hmm… Maybe if we all got really wasted on some paleo, carb-free vodka no, no. What am I saying? I said I wouldn’t make that mistake ever again! Uh… I mean… Shhhhhh.
yes …. Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Entertaining? What an understatement … keep it moving …. 🙂
Wow, 10 guys?! I’d pay to see that.
Damn! 50 people at once? I don’t think I’d worry about getting to know them all if there are 50.
Wait… You guys were using Roman numerals, right? Oh, my bad.
That would by polygyny, not polyandry. “Andros” = dude; “Gyn” = chick. Unless you’re talking about “chicks with dicks” which would probably require a lot more paleo, carb-free vodka than you previously had in mind.
But in all seriousness, if you do get the scout orgy going, give me a call.
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