Ask Urban Scout #2: Apocalyptic Safe Sex!?!
I often receive e-mails and myspace messages from other aspiring hunter-gatherers with questions about what I do, and what I think about things and what people can do encourage rewilding their lives. I have devoted a section of this site to answering those questions publicly so others can give there own feedback as well. I dug this one up from the old myspace archives.
Hi Urban Scout,
I had a question that seemed like it was in your area of expertise. What is the difference between tracking and stalking? I mean, if I were to follow a girl in order to learn about her preferences and interests, and then use this information to entice her into a relatinoship; Isn’t that just good tracking??Tracking in Stalkings
TIS, I see a fine line between the two. I see a huge difference between say, eaves-dropping on him/her in the lunch room vs. breaking into her/his house. You know? I see a big difference between noticing what song’s she/he’s got on her/his ipod vs. following her/him home to find out where she/he lives. I think it comes down to privacy. Glean all and any information you want from public spaces. But once you violate their privacy you become a stalker, not a tracker.
But really, that answer sucks. The best way to get to know someone involves talking to them. Ask questions. This defines the difference. Tracking at its core involves asking questions, communicating. Stalking at its core involves violating someone’s trust, and that never ends with good results.
Dear Urban Scout,
Post apocalypse sex: how is a girl to avoid becoming pregnant?
Without modern forms of birth control, how can one safely steer clear of making babies besides abstinence? Unless perhaps, having children would be advantageous somehow. But I think not.
Thank you for your urban wisdom…
Suzy
Suzy,
This concerns many people, and I often have people ask me this. I always find it funny that people would rather know if they can still fuck in a postapocalyptic world than if they’ll have food available. I always say, “Don’t worry. You will still have the ability to fuck your brains out in a post-apocalyptic environment, and thank god!”
Simply, “sit and drink pennyroyal tea.â€
Pennyroyal Tea works as a natural abortifacient aka “morning after pill.†However, watch out cause it can also KILL YOU!!! (or so say the crazy anti-abortionists)
What? Can’t find any pennyroyal tea growing in your yard or native habitat? Ran out of your stock pile of it? Well your fucked. Just kidding! Another common plant used as an abortifacient (say that 10 times fast) Queen Anne’s Lace, also called Wild Carrot.
So you can’t find Pennyroyal, or Queen Anne’s Lace, and you can’t stand it, you’ve just got to let out some post-traumatic-apocalyptic-stress and fuck your brains out…
Well, you’ve still got options. Stop thinking like a fucking puritan. You’ve got an asshole right? You’ve got a mouth right? You probably have hands right? Animals? Use them. Sex doesn’t have to be dick in vagina.
Okay, soooooo. You can’t find any herbs, and you already feel sick of all those other options??? Okay. Let me tell you a secret.
Women and Men can have sex and not get pregnant! He can even blow his load inside if she let’s him, and no baby will come of it. They do not teach you about this in sex education. Probably because it doesn’t always work as a sure fire way of not getting pregnant. It’s called:
Basically, for several days during a womans cycle, she is infertile, meaning you can fuck all you want and you won’t get preggers. I have known several hippies who did this method and failed (stupid fucking hippies!). I know a few normal people (not hippies), who did this with great success. What does it mean? It means for one third of the month you can have all the dick in vagina sex you want, and then the other two thirds you’ll have to stick to another method (Chili Dog anyone?). But this only works if you don’t look, act and smell like a hippie.
Of course, non of these feel completely satisfactory. The only sure fire way of not having babies involves going gay. But even if you do end up pregnant don’t worry, just think when your starving to death the little fat baby might come in use… just make sure you stock pile some Tabasco, cause baby meat tastes pretty gamey.
Scout
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We also have an article at the REWILD.info Field Guide called “Partner-Based Birth Control” that discusses alternative methods of birth control.
Condoms are still a distinct possibility, as they used to be made out of the intestines of sheep. I imagine any other similarly sized animal would provide usable sausage packing material.
Also, children ARE a potentially useful for survival, and not in the “I eat them” kind of way (incidentally, putting aside the moral questions on what I take to be a joke, you will NOT get the number of calories out of the infant that you put into it gestating and lactating). Once raised past a certain point, they provide the most important survival resource – tribe. So kids are an investment in the future. I wouldn’t get to hung up on having the occasional child post-apocalypse. There may be too many of us now, but we do still need SOME reproduction.
Take it from a “surprised” parent. There’s never a convienent time to have kids, but most of the time, it’s not to hard to make it work.
Too true Andrew. Thanks for you comment.
If my experience is any indication, a woman reading a clinical description of fertility awareness can get the impression that practicing it is some complex and perhaps messy process. However, after paying attention to my body in this way for about five years now, I can hardly believe I lived so long without noticing my body’s obvious changes. I can’t even imagine getting pregnant accidentally now, because it’s just too obvious what my body is doing, and this is without following the formal procedures (daily temp, cervical fluid checks, etc.)
I can’t believe no one mentioned what seemed obvious to me! If you don’t want kids, why not get tied/snipped? Then you never have to even worry about it (except in rare exceptions . . . better the both of you get the procedure, just in case!)
I mean, if we are talking about society crumbling and everything going to shit, isn’t one of the biggest causes for this over-population? If more people got tied/snipped now, the better shape the planet would be in to begin with.
And you can still be in tune with your bodies’ cycles without drinking abortifacients that, though they probably won’t kill you, can make you incredibly sick if taken in large doses, or over a long enough period of time. Track the problem to its source! Then the anti-abortinists will have to get their own damn lives instead of bothering us! 🙂
Fertility awareness work 100% of the time with complete accuracy IF YOU ARE AWARE OF THE SIGNS. People say ” i got pregnant while using fertility awareness methods…” and i say “were you aware that you were fertile when you got pregnant”? they say no. If the weatherman says that it’s supposed to be sunny but you walk outside and get soaked, do you blame the weatherman or LOOK OUT THE WINDOW before you step outside?
Props dude, im a student too. leaving society in the spring, but only for 14 months.
Hi Scout!
Pennyroyal really is dangerous, but Queen Anne’s Lace works very nicely! I myself like a combination method I call “he never cums inside me/fertility awareness..” Never had an accidental pregnancy in the five or so years I’ve been using this method. I really don’t know how people get preggers “accidentally”, it just doesn’t seem possible.
Thanks for sharing,
Possum