The Constant Colonizing of My Mind
Get a job. Get a job? Youâ€™re stealing from people. Taking from them. Youâ€™re a vampire. No, Iâ€™m trying to live another wayâ€¦ Iâ€™m trying to escape. You havenâ€™t escaped shit. You sit around on your fucking computer all day, driving your girlfriend crazy with your weird sayings and movie quotes and commercial jingles you randomly puke up. Youâ€™ll never escape this way.
Well fuck. How the fuck do I get out of this mess? Last week was great, I foraged and ate real meat that I picked off the road. I didnâ€™t go to the grocery store that day. If you were really trying to escape you wouldnâ€™t be in the city. Get out of the city. But my friends live here. My family lives here. They donâ€™t give a shit about the collapse. They’re just as blind as anyone else. Youâ€™re not doing them any good, and theyâ€™re certainly not doing you any good. I guessâ€¦ No, youâ€™re wrong. I need them. I get bored and lonely without them. Thatâ€™s because youâ€™re weak. How does that make me weak? Canâ€™t you fend for yourself? Can you act like a man and provide for yourself and a family. Isnâ€™t that what you want? A family? Yes, Iâ€™d like that very much. Then what the fuck are you doing this stupid little project for? You canâ€™t feed and clothe and house a family like this? What woman would want to live that way? Sasha sure doesnâ€™t. You need a job, with benefits. You need to get your shit together. Save some money. But what about my sanity? Do you want a family or not? I do. Then give up the primitive act. Thereâ€™s no culture for it. Where would you live? One of you would have to work. Someone would have to pay the bills. Give this shit up. But it makes me happy. Working a job makes me crazy! Hahaha. Listen to youâ€™re bullshit. Youâ€™re going crazy anyway. Youâ€™re 25. You donâ€™t have much time left to start a familyâ€¦ maybe 7 years, 10 years at most. You donâ€™t even have a job! Or an apartment. But I need this. I want this life. Do you? Do you really want to be a homeless, jobless, wifeless, childless, freak? You preach all about how important family is, but you never do anything about it. Youâ€™ve got these high ideals. Youâ€™re just a stupid kid who needs to grow up. So maybe I am. Thatâ€™s right, you are. You were really stupid for quitting your jobs. I mean, if you had stayed with that coffee shop, youâ€™d probably be a manager by now. If you cared. But you didnâ€™t did you? You never really put forth any effort, just like in school. Doing enough just to get a passing grade. And thatâ€™s your whole life. When your silly little inheritance runs out, youâ€™ll be fucked and have to get a job anyway. And if you have to get a job, youâ€™ll have to have a house, so youâ€™ll have to pay rent and bills again. Youâ€™ll have to start at an entry level position, all over again, all because of your stupid ideas. Yeah, I probably will. No, you KNOW you will, asshole. You may as well save what dignity you have and get a job NOW. Youâ€™re just dead wait on your community until then. Free-loading, trustafarian. Thatâ€™s what they think of you. I mean, you donâ€™t even accomplish half the shit you set out to do on a weekly basis. And itâ€™s not like the stuff is real hard. What the fuck are you doing the rest of the time anyway? Itâ€™s not like you have any REAL work to do. I donâ€™t know. Yes you do. You mope around and check your myspace like any other unemployed lazy ass. You think youâ€™re doing the world a fucking favor? Youâ€™re not doing SHIT! YOU SUCK. GET A FUCKING JOB! YOUâ€™LL NEVER ESCAPE, YOUâ€™LL NEVER FUCKING ESCAPE! GIVE UP!
Now go smoke a cigarette. What? A cigarette. You feel like having one now, right? Kindaâ€¦ well yeah. So go get one. You know the guy upstairs will bum you one right now. Stop typing this trite â€œwoah is me arenâ€™t I weird cause the voices in my headâ€ bullshit and get a cigarette. Nah. GOD DAMMIT GO SMOKE A CIGARETTE! Um, no. Iâ€™m just going to keep bugging you until you do it. Youâ€™ll bug me after that too, weâ€™ve been through this before. You canâ€™t last, youâ€™ll smoke one at some point. Youâ€™ll get a job, smoke a cigarette and never think about rewilding ever again. I know you will. You have no other choice.
Somedays I believe it… almost enough to quit.
Show your support and appreciation for Urban Scout