Ask Urban Scout #3

Dear Scout, what is your native american animal totem?

I have no Native American ancestry (that I know of). Therefore, I can make no claims to having a Native American totem. Though I have had experiences with animals that have shaped my life, and that I identify as certain significant to me, personally.

At 17, attending the first Coyote Tracks in New Jersey, I recieved a “wood cookie” (aka name tag) with Downy Woodpecker written on it. All of the instructors told us to choose with the intention of a syncronicity or something, that whatever we chose would someone hold meaning to us and our lives.

I had never heard or seen a downy woodpecker before. I didn’t know more than one species of woodpecker even existed actually. So I dove into the field guides they had in the camp library and read up about it. I found surprise when I saw that its range covered the west coast and not the east. I had felt certain that they lived on the east coast, explaining why I had never seen one. As soon as I discovered that they lived on the west coast I felt eager to see one, though I had no idea what significance this bird had, which at the time, it had none at all.

I came back from Coyote Tracks and moved to Duvall Washington to attend the Wilderness Awareness Schools Community School. After becoming disenchanted with the school, and my work situation, I decided to move back to Portland, in with my father. This decision did not sit well with me and I asked myself over and over again if I had made the right choice.

One day while eating breakfast in the kitchen my dad pointed out the window to the bird feeder and said, “Hey look at the wood pecker.” I glanced up thinking he refered to a flicker which I had seen many in the city. But on the feeder sat a downy woodpecker, the first one I had ever seen. “I think it lives in the tree by the street.” I investigated and found that it had burrowed a nest into a dead limb of the cherry tree, right in front of my fathers house. All of a sudden I felt totally alleviated; I knew in my heart I had made the right choice, and the wood pecker symbolized that.

A few months went by and I began to but heads with my dad quite a bit. I decided it would feel best to move back in with my mother. Yet, she lived far away from my secret woods, which meant I would not spend as much time there, if any at all. I felt terrible about this decision. Again, for weeks my stomach turned and I questioned whether I made the right choice. Then one day, while sitting in my backyard at my moms a downy came down the tree I sat next to. Right down to eye level, less than a foot away. We looked at each other for a moment, than he wandered around to the other side of the tree and disappeared. I knew that did not happen randomly. The bird paid me a visit; I knew in my heart I had made the right choice.

From time to time I see downy woodpeckers going about their business. Obviously not everytime I see one symbolizes something. But the times when they visit me specifically. When they make the effort to get real close, closer than may look safe, I know that they mean to tell me something. I found the Downy at Coyote Tracks, my first real track on the path of rewilding, and they come to tell me in moments of doubt, that I still stand on the path of my dreams.Do I think of the Downy Woodpecker as my “totem?” Not really. I have had many other similar experiences with particular animals that come to me during different situations and for different reasons. Though, the downy woodpecker means more to me than most of the other animal encounters.

If you have a question for me, send an e-mail to urbanscout (at) gmail (dot) com with “ask urban scout” as the subject.
**I wrote this blog in pearly white e-prime.**

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